Friday, August 28, 2009

The Weekend is Finally Here

I'm so glad that today was Friday. I definitely need a break already. I came home from class and took a nice nap, but the dreams I had with that nap weren't so appealing. I had a dream that the boy I'll never had and his girlfriend were hanging out with me and being all lovey and disgusting. It was very difficult to watch and I was quite glad to wake up. It seems so unfair. That could be me.

Anyways, last night I went to get my calculator back and I was surprised at how well it went. I got there before he got off work, so I talked to Walter while I waited. When he did get home, he was nice and asked about how I was. He let me go search for my calculator in his truck and I found some other items of mine. When I went back into the apartment, there was some girl there, who is probably his newest project. I could really care less who he's with, but my sixth sense told me he was upset. I guess he either didn't want me to see her (since he asked her to leave when I walked back in) or he was just surprised to see me. Either way, I guess it's good to know he still cares. I still mean something to someone, even if it's not enough to keep in touch with me.

I was supposed to hang out with this guy that I don't even know but I decided to contact on facebook. Risky I know, but I think I'm a pretty good judge of who a person is. He wanted me to meet him at Click's, but I didn't know the band playing and I was eating with Melissa and Becca. Maybe he'll call me within the next hour and we can hang out. Otherwise, I'm going to bed since I have to wake up at seven to go to work.

Tomorrow I work all day and the same goes for Sunday. I really need to get my class stuff together and start working on my seminar. I'm going to try and get the grad student to help me with my seminar in exchange for my help with identifying fish. I think it's a fair trade, and maybe we could become friends.

I decided to start reading my vegan book again. I'm going to take notes and begin my veganism again. I can't put it off anymore. I am killing myself with food. I prefer to die in some better way, so hopefully reading this book will kick-start my better way of life.

I've also decided that I really need to branch out and get some friends that none of my other friends know. That's one reason I decided to talk to the guy on facebook. It can't hurt to try and make new friends. Even if we don't end up being friends, at least I tried. I'm sure that someone will be a friend for me. I have to keep trying and be open. Wish me luck.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

First Days of School

Classes started Wednesday and I'm already feeling the pressure. It's not that my classes are hard, but I have so many projects to do already and they're due in 2 weeks. Sure two weeks should be plenty of time, but when you have three projects and one which determines your entire grade in the class, it's stressful.

One of these projects is for Seminar, which is the one shot for your final grade. I decided to work with Lance and do my seminar over fish and the homogenization of populations in the US. I've read a couple of the papers so far and my brain can hardly comprehend them. I don't have any clue what the models or statistical tests that they used are. Hopefully I can read them over a few more times and understand them better. I have about a week to prepare for this presentation, so hopefully I can get it done quickly.

The first two days of class were kind of difficult. It's hard to not take any classes for three months and then jump back into them. It was also disappointing to go to class and have no one to sit with. My friends stated they didn't recognize me with my new hair, but seriously, I would think you'd actively look for me when you know I'm in your class. Oh well. I guess I'll just be the loser who sits by herself once again. It's not like this is new or anything. Like I said previously, I really don't have any good friends that are in my classes.

I guess I'm kind of bummed out already. I haven't really wanted to work out and I feel crummy. It's probably my eating habits (which have been absolutely horrible) and my inability to handle stress. Maybe I'll start doing yoga or something. I think I'll also dig into all of this reading/studying I need to be doing already. What I really need to do is stop letting people talk me into staying and hanging out when I need to be doing something productive.

Tonight I'm going to go visit someone I stopped talking to and haven't spoken to them for about two months now. It was a necessary step for me to get over them and their horrible habits. I understand that people deal with stress differently, but sleeping with large numbers of people never crossed my mind as one of them. The only reason I'm going is to get my calculator back. Part of me still cares for this person, but I know that it's an unhealthy relationship for me to continue.

Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a new attitude. I only have class until eleven, and then I think I'll go workout. I think working out in the evening is far too late for me, which could be why I never feel up to it. Anyhow, here's to tomorrow being a good and accomplished day.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Yay Ice Cream

So what do you do when you have a hankering for ice cream and birthday cake but there isn't a birthday going on? Go to Braum's and get their birthday cake ice cream and manage to stick it up your nose as you're devouring it, that's what. Though for some reason, certain bites tasted like ham or bacon...

Six Flags totally went down yesterday. My sister and I picked up her friend Aki, who's from Japan and has never gone to Six Flags, and managed to ride every single ride in the park in 3 hours. It was a lot of fun, especially since we didn't have to wait in line for longer than 10 minutes. I remember how scared I used to be to ride roller coasters and yesterday I never had a tinge of anxiety about any of the rides. Maybe I am growing up and maturing. That or I have brainwashed myself into thinking I'm invincible.

Today I woke up around eight to go electrofishing with the grad students. We caught some huge fish, including a very menacing looking gar. There's nothing like spending the last two days of your summer outside walking through the river catching fish. I really enjoy doing it and it almost makes me want to go to grad school. However, I'm still not convinced that I'd have the stamina to get a Masters degree and go to med school.

School starts on Wednesday and I just bought my books today. The grand total of my books was around $800. However, this does include four books for my Mum's classes. Science books are always so expensive and I had to buy one of them brand new. Here's the classes that I am taking this semester:
Biogeography, Analytical Chemistry and lab, A&P and lab, Literature, Seminar, and Psychology
This is the most hours I have ever taken at once. Hopefully I can keep up and make all A's and manage to work on the weekends. I figure if I can work 8 shifts a month, that'll give me enough money for rent, bills, and food. I've been poor before, so I know how to survive on little money. Let's just hope my roomies learn that we can't have the air on 60 degrees so our electricity bill isn't $500 again next month.

Tomorrow I'll be out on the river again all day. If we get back in time, I'll go buy my parking sticker so I won't be ticketed on the first day of class. I also have to make a trip to my Mum's house to get my puppy back. I think I may make it into an adventure and invite some friends to go to Daquiri Express with me on the way. Nothing like drive-thru alcoholic beverages with the lid taped on to make the last day of summer complete.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday Night Blahs

Tomorrow is my last day of work for this week. I have to say that working every day really isn't that bad, but I'll be glad to have a break. I also have to take a quiz tomorrow over things I should know for work. Let's hope that goes well.

I really didn't do much this week but work, read, and workout. In the past two days, I managed to finish Catcher in the Rye. I really love this book. I know how it is feeling like a failure with no direction and feeling like no one really cares. Not to sound emo or anything, but I really wish I could find that one friend that I know will be there no matter what. I want to be THE best friend of someone for once. I'm just a free floating friend that people use for their entertainment, and I just so happen to benefit. I know that Melissa might get upset with my previous statements, because she's really been my only friend this entire summer. If we didn't hang out, I would have sat at home alone every night probably. I really appreciate her being there for me this summer, especially since my body is looking smoking from all this working out we've done. I tried being friends with boys, but they simply want to date me. No offense to them, but they're the boys I don't want to date. I want my tall skinny white boy who loves outdoors and comedy as much as I do and doesn't find my weird antics too much to handle.

Anyways, let's talk about physical fitness. I have been working out for the past month and what have I seen a difference in? Solely my arms. My arms have never been this strong and it's quite nice. However, and yes I know this doesn't totally matter, but I have continually gained weight this summer. I know my eating habits have a lot to do with it, but I thought adding an hour and a half of cardio/weights would make me lose something. I just want to be full body toned and have a sweet six pack. So for my next adventure, Melissa suggested we start training for a half-marathon that's in Dallas in March. I attempted to run one of these last summer, which lead to the discovery of my heart condition. I'm kind of anxious about trying again, but I think I'll recruit some help this time around. It'll be easier with Melissa training with me and I have until March to get there.

Things to look forward to:
1) Six Flags on Sunday. It's our last chance to go, so let's hope the stars align in our favor.
2) Electrofishing again :) I got a call today and I'm going out Mon/Tues and enjoying the last two days of my summer on the river. Probably the best thing I could do
3) School starts and so does my final year at UTT. Seventeen hours of class isn't too much... I hope.

I don't quite feel like setting any goals for tomorrow, but let's hope I do well on my quiz and get to workout. That's all I want.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Spontaneity Will Define This Next Semester

Let's start off with goals accomplished yesterday:
1 and 3)I totally managed not to toss my cookies. However, I'm still not fully over what I have. I don't think making it through work will be hard, but I'll avoid food for the most part just in case.
2) Didn't party at Outlaws...but rather a club in Dallas called S4...more on that later.
4) Didn't clean my room at all. I'm a slacker.
5) I think I know how my schedule will go for Fall. I'm taking the most hours I ever have.

Okay, so yesterday all I did was pretty much lie in bed. I woke up around 9am and slept on and off until about 6pm. Day wasted? Nah, I facebooked it up and read some Catcher in the Rye. My body probably needed a good rest after working so hard in the Neches and then getting ill. I feel quite a bit better, but any time I eat food, there's a horrible sharp pain in my stomach. Poor tummy, I've mistreated you for so long and now I get to pay for it. Maybe this is a sign that I should be a better vegetarian and go back to vegan.

Around 7pm yesterday, I get a call from Melissa who invites me over to hang out with her and Scott. Scott is the token gay guy in my life, and I really enjoy hanging out with him. He is the essence of entertainment pretty much. So I go over there, and we had already planned on going to Outlaws later that night anyhow, so we were talking about clubs and such. Scott spent the whole summer in Dallas, and he kiddingly suggested we go to a club called S4 he knew about in Dallas. Melissa and I were down, but we weren't sure if Becca would go with us since she had to teach Sunday School the next morning. I call her and to all our amazement, she says yes.

An hour later, we're in the car on our way to the gayborhood in Dallas. We've all decided that since it's pretty much our last year of college (except for Melissa) that spontaneous trips should be the definition of our lives. We get to the downtown area and we visit a bar that's near where we parked. Becca decides she's hungry, so we stop at a pizza place that I can not remember the name of. It was pretty much the best pizza ever. I don't know if it was so awesome because I hadn't eaten in two days, or if it was just that good. Once I remember the name of the place, it's going on my list of favorite Dallas eats.

After we eat, we go to S4 to get our dance on. There was a drag show going on upstairs, so we watched that for a while and then headed for the dance floor. The difference between straight clubs and gay clubs: people actually dance at the gay club. It was hard to be in a club with a bunch of attractive people and know that I would never have a chance with any of them because they like sausage. However, that definitely made it easier to dance around and not care what people thought. We stayed for about an hour and a half and decided to head home after stopping at the pizza place again.

We got home about 4am, and yet I managed to wake up at 9:30 this morning only slightly tired. I don't know what my body is so excited about that I needed to be up that early, but I'd like to sleep in until noon at least one day that I have left of summer. All I have to look forward to today is maybe going to the gym at noon and then going to work at 3pm. I probably won't have much to talk about this week unless something crazy happens to me before or after work. I work every single day until Sunday, so this is going to turn monotonous if I even update.

Today's Bubba's birthday. He's one of my roomies for those of you who don't know. He turned 21 and so I got him a gift certificate to his favorite eatery. He's a not too fantastic drunk, so there will be no drinking for him as long as I'm around. And even though he doesn't read this, Happy Birthday kid :)

Goals for the Week (since I don't know if I'll update much):
1) Make it through work and do well on my quiz so I don't get fired
2) Conquer this sickness
3) Make a new friend out of the girl at the gym who Melissa swears is gay
4) Go to daiquiri express just for the fun of it
5) Workout at least 5 days out of the 7 I work

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Yay Viruses!

Yesterday shall be marked in history as one of the worse sicknesses ever. I woke up to a sharp stabbing pain in my RUQ (right upper quadrant of my abdomen, see how I use ED terms in everything because it's fun). I figured that my sixth sense was just really intense and that it'd go away sooner or later.

Since I woke up around 10, I texted Melissa and suggested we go workout. By this time, nausea had started to wash over me, but it wasn't too bad. We went to the gym and got our workout on, with a very lax cardio session for me. By the time we got done, I still felt decently okay. Melissa invited me over to hang out and eat lunch, so I accepted and went home to take a shower.

Oh and here's an interjection to the best part of this horrible day: I finally got to talk to the boy in Austin :) It was short and sweet since I was going to workout, but definitely made my day. I know I'm stupid for getting so excited, but if only I could express how much he means to me, you'd understand.

Moving along, I get to her house, and I feel pretty lousy. I manage to eat a granola bar, but all I wanted to do was lie down. We watched the Axis of Evil comedy tour and I managed not to toss my cookies. About 45 minutes into the show, I decided to go home and take a nap so that maybe I'd feel better and could take my Nutrition final once I woke up.

My nap lasted for about an hour and I woke up feeling better. However, as soon as I got up to clean my room up a bit before I took my test, the sickness hit me worse than ever. I still managed to hold myself together, and I decided to take my test. About halfway into the test, I have to get up and vomit my guts out. If you know me, you know that I absolutely hate having to vomit and it's so embarrassing to have someone have to sit there and listen to me do so. I apologized a million times to Becca because it's disgusting to throw up. I could never be a Bulimic girl due to this. Anorexia all the way!

I managed to finish my test on time even with the interruption and managed to make a B on it. I do believe that was one of my goals, so that's at least one I achieved. Afterwards, I decided to go get my sister since we were supposed to go to Six Flags today. However, I still felt horrible when 9 pm rolled around, so I decided to call off the trip. Now we are going next Sunday and nothing's going to stop us. We have put off this trip four times now, and we are going even if I am dying or the sky is pouring down rain.

Anyhow, I managed to drive myself home from my mum's house with the help of some Phenergan gel. I called Melissa since we were supposed to find a retainer for her lip ring earlier in the day. She and Becca had been at a Bachelorette party, so they left and we went to two tattoo places trying to find one. In all my history of piercing/tattooing people, I have never met such an intelligent person as we did last night. Talk about knowing his stuff and being scientific about it. I think I may have blushed at the fact that I was pretty judgmental about all people working in these types of places, and he definitely proved me wrong. I just wonder what he wanted to do with his life before he decided to become a tattoo artist. He seemed to know so much science/medical stuff and I was very impressed. If I get anything done in the future, I'm going to him.

So now it's Saturday morning, and I feel better than I did yesterday. The constant stabbing pain has subsided and the nausea only comes back if I walk around. I have a horrible headache, but that might be from dehydration. I'll just keep chugging this gatorade and hope it helps. Since I'm not going to Six Flags, I really don't have any plans for today. We are still planning on going to Outlaws tonight since by 9 or 10 pm tonight I should be over this bout of sickness. Other than that, I may just lie in bed and watch ridiculous movies by myself. And I just picked up Catcher in the Rye again, so maybe I'll work on reading that.

Goals for Today:
1) Do not toss my cookies
2) Party at Outlaws
3) Feel better so work won't suck tomorrow
4) Clean my room a bit
5) Finalize my schedule for the Fall

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is it Thursday?

My days have begun to run together and I've been off a day. I thought yesterday was today and that tomorrow was Saturday. I think all the sun I got while outside for the past two days have gotten to me.

So electrofishing was a lot of fun. If I had to do that every day for the rest of my life, I don't think I'd mind. And yes, I know you're thinking "Isn't that illegal?" but it's not when you have a permit.
We went to two different sites and caught a decent amount of fish. We loaded up all of our gear into two kayaks and a canoe and rowed down the river to the site of interest. We wore waders so that we wouldn't electrocute ourselves, and accidentally falling into the water doesn't hurt as bad as I thought. It happened once or twice and it feels like a small tingling. I think being electrocuted from an electrical outlet hurts way more than when falling into the electrified water. I think I prefer the netting of the fish and not so much as being in charge of shocking them. Everything's a competition when you're in the field, so competing for fish is a lot more fun.

We also helped out one of the Biology professors with his mussel surveying. It's fun to be on your hands and knees with water up to your face searching blindly for mussels sticking out of the gravel and sand. However, my thinning hair failed me again and I got a nasty sunburn on my head. This is probably the worst sunburn ever and it hurts like all get out. Was it worth being outside for almost ten hours, getting biten by horse flies, ramming your legs into hidden logs in the water, getting to know people and laughing at ridiculously stupid things because the sun has melted your brain? Totally.

My final for my nutrition class is tomorrow, which means there is only about a week and a half before the semester starts. I really want the summer to keep going so I can stay outside and love the sun for a while longer. However, the fall must come and so does my last fall semester at UTT. This is my last chance to make friends and befriend professors and make good grades. Yes, I do have the spring semester left, but by that time I'll be too occuppied with figuring out what to do with my life in the future. I know my friend Melissa is freaking out about the same thing, so we're in the same boat. Maybe in some weird alignment of the stars, we will both figure out where we're going in time to enjoy the coming semester.

Yesterday my friend Lisa came back into town after being gone for about two months at her new grad school. It was so good seeing her. We're going to Six Flags on Saturday and then when we get back we're going to Outlaws to party. I haven't been to a bar in this area, so it shall be an experience. I just hope to get hit on and have people buy me drinks because I can't afford them :)

Next week, I work every single day. This is probably good for me trying to eat healthier, since at work there is no food. However, that means I'll be uber tired by the time next Sunday rolls around. But seven days of eight hours means overtime pay so it's all good. I'm thinking about starting to run long distance again. The term "run" should be used lightly, since my run is probably everyone else's jog. Once I get my puppy back, I'll start jogging with him in the evenings so we both get some good exercise. I thought about maybe running the Tyler Half, but that might be asking for trouble. Seeing as how I haven't ran more than three miles in the past six months, it's not likely that I can magically pull out 13.1 miles in two months. Miracles do happen, but this is one that is very doubtful. I'll at least attempt to try and maybe I'll run one of the shorter races they have during that weekend.

Goals for Tomorrow:
1) Sleep in
2) Eat healthy all day
3) Make at least a B on my final
4) Jog some distance at a reasonable speed
5) Workout with Melissa
6) Organize my house
7) Buy books for school
8) Go to bed decently early

Monday, August 10, 2009

Monday Monday Monday

I guess those night shifts made my schedule off, because I definitely forgot about updating this. My life has not improved in entertainment value in the past couple of days. All I have done is work, go to the gym, and sleep.

I finished "Finding Alaska" and I have to say it was pretty good. Not a bad quick read and the writing style was nice. I might pick up another John Green book to try since I was informed that not all of them end up with death. I really want to read Catcher in the Rye again, but my copy is at my Mum's house. I'm just in that Holden Caulfield mood I guess.

My workouts have been pretty consistent this past week. I think I need to kick it up a notch and start doubling them though. Melissa and I ride the stationary bike for half an hour and then lift weights to work out backs, chest, and arms on most days. Every now and then we put a little leg workout in there, and I do believe her favorite is the hip adductor machine, that dirty hooker. The difference in my arms is nice and it's nice to feel stronger. Now all I need to do is tweak my eating habits so I can get that six pack I've always wanted. I think if I add an hour of cardio along with my workout with Melissa, I'll be on the right track. Maybe I'll finally be able to catch up with all of those sweet cross-country runners.

My nutrition class is almost over. I have my final this week and two assignments left. This class was pretty fun and easy. It's probably the only class that I've taken online that has required the least maintenance. It's mainly because I already know most of the material, but it is fun to learn new things. For example, today I learned the that pregnant women should gain around 30 lbs by the time they deliver and 2 lbs of that should be in their breasts. Score!

Two more weeks before school starts and I am ready to get my schedule finalized. I still haven't been able to get into an A&P lab, but I think if I can't, I'll just take the class. It's something I enjoy and hopefully someone will drop so I can get into the class I want and have a nicer schedule. Also, I might be the TA for Micro and so I need to figure that all out too. I hopefully will be able to confuse the poor micro students and be sly about telling them if their unknowns are correct :)

Tomorrow is electrofishing at 8:30 in the am. I'm going to try and wake myself up at 7:30 to go do sprints, but I accidentally took a nap earlier and so I probably won't sleep too well. I'm quite excited about being in the field again. I've missed it so. Let's hope my fish skills are as good as they were in the semester and that I don't get electrocuted :)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Noonday Writings

I survived my two days of night shifts! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and there was actually some down time when I got to converse with the doctors. It's always fun to talk to them about what I should do: Should I try to go to Med school? Or should I go to P.A. school first? One of the P.A.'s told me that he deeply regretted not going to Med school, and actually got into a school four years ago, but he couldn't fathom giving up his income to go. They also of course pointed out that if I ever wanted to have children or a family, that PA school probably was best.

That's one thing that I think about, but I really don't have anyone to plan that sort of thing with. I'm not dating anyone, and the one person who I can't seem to get out of my head hasn't talked to me in weeks. I'm undecided about having children, but I figure I can always adopt a child if I waited until I was too old to have them myself. I think decisions of this sort would be easier if I was in a position where I was dating someone for a long time and we were thinking of marriage. Since I'm not, maybe I should be a bachelorette and say that I'll never have these least not anytime soon. Could I find someone to love me and have children when I'm over 30? Is this possible? This is a 20-generation area where people get married out of high school. I'll probably be the last of my friends to get married at this point. However, marriage shouldn't be that important to someone...but for some reason, I seriously have considered PA school just so I could possibly have a life and a family earlier in life. I just don't know.

When I got off work this morning, I walked into the parking lot and the nice security guard walked me to my car. I have to say that I really appreciated him calling me cute or pretty or whatever he said. Lately I've been feeling like I stick out and pretty wouldn't be the first thought that would come to mind if I looked in the mirror. Thanks security guard guy. Thanks for making sure no one kidnapped me, even though I'm sure they still could have because let's face it, we're about the same size. But mostly, thanks for telling me I'm pretty :)

After listening to hellogoodbye for so long, I've decided I want a eukelele again. I had one as a small child, but to have one now would be sweet. I could write ridiculous little songs about people and sing them to small crowds with my teeny case out so people could throw money at me. I had a dream that I wrote songs about some of the people who matter the most to me, but I don't remember any of the lyrics. Ukelele's are surely cheaper than a guitar, so maybe if I find some extra work somewhere I can afford to buy one.

As I mentioned before, I am reading "Finding Alaska" by John Green. As I got further into the reading, all I could do was think of the boy in Austin that I haven't talked to in almost a month. I don't know why, but I think in my sleepy state, I get super emotional. All rational thinking is slowed and emotions come easier. I almost starting crying reading this book, not necessarily because it was sad, but I had this horrible feeling that something like this would happen to me. Not me dying, or coming close, but rather have someone who I care deeply about but don't really know die and me feel absolutely horrible for not doing more when I could have. Perhaps I felt this because I was so tired, but it really bothered me. Oh, and Melissa, you hooker, what is with you suggesting things that seem so happy and enjoyable in the beginning that take a turn for the worse! Steve Prefontaine for example here. And now this book. How could you.

Today I'll have to do some Nutrition homework, but that won't take long. I'm going to workout with Melissa at some point today and then hopefully finish this book. Work tomorrow at noon, so I don't have to go to bed too terribly early. Hopefully my sleeping schedule will readjust and I won't fall asleep tomorrow at work.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Flipping The Clock

So yesterday was my first night shift in the ED. It wasn't too bad actually, but I definitely was very tired once 3 am rolled around. Luckily for me, the computer system had to be updated so I got to go home two hours early :) Kinda sucks in the money department, but oh well. While I was at work I started reading "Finding Alaska" by John Green. So far so good. I'm only on page forty, but I'll let you know how I like it once I finish.

Last night also marks the second time my looks have been discriminated against. All I have to say is that that person could only wish that I wanted to look at her junk. I'm going to have to start hanging out with more boys in public and make them hold my hand or something. It's ridiculous what a short haircut will make people think.

I went and worked out with my friend Melissa today around noonish. We try to go every day but with my ridiculous work schedule, it makes it hard. She's trying to lose weight and I want a six pack so we have our goals. Personally, I think she's doing better than I am, but I just need a kick in the rear and to stop giving into temptation. If I can wear the outfit that I want for the first day of school, I'll be happy :)

Yesterday I found out that I get to go electrofishing next Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm super excited because I love the river and I really just want to jump in and swim. Maybe I'll save the fun for after the research part, but I'm glad that I'll be out in the sun finally. Hopefully I'll be helpful and perhaps make some new friends. Research was how I made most of my friends last summer, so maybe this will be another opportunity :) It's only two days, but a lot can happen in that time.

One of my favorite bands just put out a new single and I love it :) Hellogoodbye's new song called "When We First Met" and it's freaking sweet. Perhaps you'll like it:

Okay so I have half an hour before I have to get ready for my second night shift. Let's hope this one goes as well as the first. I'll have another new doctor, and hopefully he'll be just as nice as the one I had last night. I really like the fact that the two people I work with during my shift are nice and actually talk to me. It makes the time go by and it's a lot more fun with conversation. Here's hoping for the best.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Slow Weekend

I just realized that when I started this blog forever ago that I had planned on making it a photo blog. Oops. I guess I should start taking more pictures! I'll probably have to start doing stuff too so there will be something photo worthy.

This weekend has been pretty bland. Didn't go anywhere or do anything. The highlight for me was getting to sleep in until noon and not have to worry about being on time anywhere. I like being lazy, but then again I wish I had some motivation to do something. I went to the store today and stocked up on some fresh fruits and vegetables. Hopefully what I bought will sustain me for the next week since I'm on a tight budget. I've never really had to worry about money, but the financial aid for the Fall semester isn't looking so good.

I had a dream last night that I decided to write a letter to the boy that I felt this deep connection with, even though I don't really even know him. I don't know if you'd call it love at first sight, but there was this emotion that was new and explosive. The song "Nineteen" by Tegan and Sara explains this perfectly. Anyhow, in my dream I wrote him a letter telling him all of my thoughts and feelings. In reality, it seems absurd to do something like this. However, I'm tempted to go Forest Gump style and write a letter every week. What will I say? How will they be accepted? Questions I don't quite know the answers to, but something in me wants to put myself out there. Then again, I could simply be distant and non-insistent. Maybe my dreams will tell me what to do.

Have you ever thought you had a sixth sense? I don't really know if this counts, but over the past couple of months I've developed a sense to know when something is terribly wrong with someone I care about. The only sad part is, I don't ever know who it is and the only indication I get is a horrible nauseating feeling. I went a whole month with every day being filled with nausea and calling people to find out if something was wrong. It ended up being my ex half the time, and other times it was people who I don't see all that much. I guess the world has finally found a more peaceful rhythm since I haven't experienced as many sick feelings. If I can keep up with this "sixth sense" I hope that I can get good enough to realize who it is that's having a horrible day or is in trouble. I know it sounds crazy, so think whatever you'd like.

Tegan and Sara is an awesome band if you haven't heard of them. Right now, I'm listening to "The Con" which is a great cd and one of my favorite songs on the album. You should check them out, maybe you'll like them. I don't even know if anyone reads this, but if you do, let me know if you like them.